VIDEO OF THE WEEK!

It's been a while since I posted, and I'm so sorry- honestly, with the O Levels coming up and lots of other stuff going on, I can't guarantee you a regular posting- and even if I could, THERE ARE SO MANY TOPICS TO ADDRESS. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.

So let's jump right in and talk about the hymen. Or, well, Laci Green can do it for you. (I recommend watching her YouTube channel, it's ace)

STOP FATPHOBIA!

FATFOBIA!

no actually no you know what wait no let's redo that that there's terrible wordplay and it makes me /cringe/ so

FATPHOBIA!

And let's talk about it!

But not now, actually, that's a terrible idea to delve into this headfirst. Fatphobia is more generalised and actually a sub-topic under the main topic, which is

APPEARANCES!

Right guys, so let's talk about this. Let's talk about how girls and women are expected, daily, to dress up accordingly (and I'm not talking just about "office attire" or the like), but we have to keep a certain skirt length too, or it'd be too 'slutty' (again, another topic not for today); we have to be demure but sexy and be opinionated but not too assertive in our opinions; this and that and this and that.

Today though, we're gonna focus on the more physical aspect of appearances.










A good way to show this example is this picture I found on Tumblr, which is kind of makes you have that dawning realization that the world at large (even me: I am a very guilty of such) is judgmental, and superficially so.

 

Here's an idea:

clothes do not make the person.

Your clothes are not who you are. Your clothes do not define you.

Your clothes do not represent your sexuality, or the "activeness" of your sexual activities.

(This is off-tangent already. Lord.)

“

Here’s the thing. Men in our culture have been socialized to believe that their opinions on women’s appearance matter a lot. Not all men buy into this, of course, but many do. Some seem incapable of entertaining the notion that not everything women do with their appearance is for men to look at. This is why men’s response to women discussing stifling beauty norms is so often something like “But I actually like small boobs!” and “But I actually like my women on the heavier side, if you know what I mean!” They don’t realize that their individual opinion on women’s appearance doesn’t matter in this context, and that while it might be reassuring for some women to know that there are indeed men who find them fuckable, that’s not the point of the discussion. 

Women, too, have been socialized to believe that the ultimate arbiters of their appearance are men, that anything they do with their appearance is or should be “for men.” That’s why women’s magazines trip over themselves to offer up advice on “what he wants to see you wearing” and “what men think of these current fashion trends” and “wow him with these new hairstyles.” While women can and do judge each other’s appearance harshly, many of us grew up being told by mothers, sisters, and female strangers that we’ll never “get a man” or “keep a man” unless we do X or lose some fat from Y, unless we moisturize/trim/shave/push up/hide/show/”flatter”/paint/dye/exfoliate/pierce/surgically alter this or that.

That’s also why when a woman wears revealing clothes, it’s okay, in our society, to assume that she’s “looking for attention” or that she’s a slut and wants to sleep with a bunch of guys. Because why else would a woman wear revealing clothes if not for the benefit of men and to communicate her sexual availability to them, right? It can’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that it’s hot out or it’s more comfortable or she likes how she looks in it or everything else is in the laundry or she wants to get a tan or maybe she likes women and wants attention from them, not from men?

The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure."

I'd like to take a moment to remind everyone that feminism is about gender equality, so, yes men, being body positive goes out to you too.

Then there's all this bullshit about "real" women have curves, which was the argument against "nothing is as good as skinny feels", or some crap like that. Um. What even? 

"Curvy women are real women. Skinny women are real women. Women who have had boob jobs or lip enhancements or liposuction are still real women. Size 0 may make no sense mathematically, but a woman who wears that size is as real as the one who wears a size 16. What makes us “real” people is not the shape of our flesh but our basic humanity. And we lose our humanity when we judge – not when we lose weight, gain weight, or make the intensely personal decision to undergo cosmetic surgery."- Hugo Schwyzer 

I can't even remember what this topic was supposed to be about anymore, there are so many sub-topics and overlapping topics and I have a headache I am writing this before noon because that's how much I need to [EDUCATE] all of you 

Was I supposed to talk about oversexualization of female bodies? I.e the objectification of our bodies by men? That it's okay for us to be whatever it is, and actually, stoP LISTENING TO ADS? How our bodies are OUR BODIES? I am very confused there are so many topics?? Why am I supposed to talk about this anyway, it's not supposed to be even an issue?????

On that note, check out this Breast Cancer ad where men, for once, are overtly sexualized and used to sell stuff, instead of women. Now, men, how do you feel?


i'm sorry this was supposed to be about our physical appearances and then it got into behaviour that society has conditioned us into and then it delved a little into slut-shaming and after that it was how women don't need to be beautiful and it rounded up to over-sexualization (of a sort) and i am so sorry if this has greatly confused you this has greatly confused me too

Let's talk about sex, baby

SEX EDUCATION TIME!

But, also, not really. This is kind of a crash course, I guess? Again, reminder that none of these things that I have been posting are mine, unless stated.

Since nearly every sexual education system EVER refuses to give comprehensive sex ed, it's up to me (or people on other sites, where I can c/p and show it to you guys). Because, obviously, no one is learning anything actually substantial. Well, except for the guys and girls who watch porn, and that's.... that's not a good idea. It's the most wonderful thing ever when sex is represented inaccurately in pornography. *sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm pleasE NOTE THE SARCASM*

Today we're gonna focus on the more... physical, aspects? I mean, there is the entire relationship stuff to wade through, but I'd say Singapore does a fair, if horribly embarassing way of going through that. Of course, it isn't completely sufficient, but I'm saving that for another day.

So here we go!

PORN SEX VS. REAL SEX 

(the differences explained with food)

 

 

 

 

 

Watch the video here (I know most of you won't, you lazy bums) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q64hTNEj6KQ

idk i don't think feminism should be called feminism it should be called common sense i

I feel guilty and just very on the edge because I haven't posted for a while now, because of Hari Raya celebrations (sorry!) - well, nothing substantial, anyway. So here are some statistics for you lot to ponder.

Since we are born, around the world, women face hate and disgust for simply being ourselves. From being killed at birth just for HAVING A VAGINA, to honour crimes, to being blamed for rape (seriously, we are going to have many, many talks on rape).

Note that the "women make only 77.5 cents for every dollar that men earn" statistic applies only to white women. Women of colour make significantly less.

- Black women make about $0.68 to a man's dollar.
- Latina women make about $0.58 to a man's dollar.

According to http://www.rainn.org/statistics, 44% of victims are under 18, with 80% being under 30.

54% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police. 97% of rapists never even step into jail.

And 38% of these rapists? Are someone you know.

WOMEN ARE NOT EQUAL.

And this is why I am so hell-bent on making it so.

FACTOID OF THE WEEK!

Right, so remember how I said women are often erased from history, or like just really hidden?

For those not in the know, night witches were russian lady bombers who bombed the shit out of german lines in ww2. thing is though, they had the oldest, noisiest, crappest planes in the entire world. the engines used to conk out halfway through their missions, so they had to climb out on the wings mid flight to restart the props. the planes were also so noisy that to stop germans from hearing them combing and starting up their anti aircraft guns, they’d climb up to a certain height, coast down to german positions, drop their bombs, restart their engines in midair, and get the fuck out of dodge.

their leader flew over 200 missions and was never captured.

E?Q?UA?L?TI??Y????

So, today, Edgar (yes I am smearing your name you are lucky I'm not using your full name so future employers still might hire you) commented that males and females are genetically engineered differently, and henceforth should be treated differently.

Um.

I don't really know what to say to his close-mindedness really (not without severely mutilating him in the process)

an actual opinion???? i mean people are allowed to have their own opinions and all but

like

why is equality so f*cking hard to grasp

i am a person

you are a person

he she they are person(s)

we are equal

that is not f*cking difficult to understand

?????????

Misogyny: Fact or Myth? II

Hello again!

Right, so I really hoped you've watched the Video of the Week, which is a thing I'm planning to do, because people usually tend to like watching things than reading about it? Anyway, it was a segment on street harassment, it's funny and informative and it's really an eye-opener. Almost daily women face street harassment, which is misogynistic because basically we, as people, aren't being respected. Street harassment is sexual degradation of women- it's basically hate speech. (Look, okay, I'm not really good at explaining why it's misogynistic, please say that you understand why?) Some of you may think, hey, I'm complimenting girls, what's wrong with that? Well:

See? Street harassment is not a compliment.

Okay, back to topic, folks!

Time to uncover more aspects of misogyny, dun dun dun...

 1. UNDER/MIS-REPRESENTATION OF FEMALES IN THE MEDIA

Here, I revert back to yesterday's post detailing the ratio of males to females in the world. The fact is, despite that there are almost as many or even more women in the world, women are simply written out of... everything! (We'll go to this later, but even in history women are simply written out of.) One simple way you can test this is the Bechdel test- take a look.



Such a simple test, and you find that, surprisingly, there are tons of movies out there that simply do not pass this test.

Here's a link to why film schools teach screenwriters to not pass the Bechdel test (simply put, NO LADIES!)


It's sad, isn't it?

2. SLUT-SHAMING/EXCUSING RAPE

Basically, making a female, who, you know, has sexual needs, same as men, is made to feel bad about herself.

Yeah, in Singapore, or Asia, this isn't a regular occurrence. Here we're all pretty conservative, and tend to stick to sex after marriage. But it doesn't take a genius to figure out (even through media portrayal, e.g Glee) that when a guy sleeps around, it's like, woah, congrats, dude! But when a female sleeps around, it's like

OH NOES GUISE SLUT SLUT SLUT SHE'S A SLUT OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL EVERYONE SO WE CAN MAKE FUN OF HER FOR WANTING THE SAME THINGS THAT EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS PLANET WANTS TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

There are seriously so many things wrong with the world.

Considering we accept the general hypothesis that girls physically mature faster than boys, it seems curious that we deny them the same agency when it comes to their sexual maturity. The nascent sexual desires of boys are so readily accepted as part of life that we barely blink at the mention of them. We know they’re fascinated by it, turned on by it and would in fact do anything to GET it – so accepting are we that we consider it a scientific fact of life: it is normal and healthy for teenage boys to be driven by their hormones, and any worries about them being indiscriminately promiscuous should be eased by the reminder that it’s just boys being boys and no harm can come of it particularly as they can’t get pregnant.

But instead of encouraging a similar sexual expression in girls (who experience the exact same explosion of hormones during their teen years), we demonise it. We watch with eagle eyes for the first hint of their sexual curiosity; wearing revealing clothing, flirting with strangers, touching themselves, admitting on a handmade sign that they know what an erection is, and would like to see one please. Then, through a sustained process of fear mongering, shame and good, old fashioned folklore, we wrest it from their control and tell them they can have it back when they’ve proved they know how to behave. The irony of course is that we deny sexual autonomy to girls for their own protection, and then expect them to turn around and be the sexual gatekeepers for everyone else’s.” —Clementine Ford

Seriously, this world.

3. "BOYS WILL BE BOYS" HAHAHA FU*KING HAHAHAHA HA NO. "

When we were young, I am so sure, that for every, and I do mean every instance a boy hit/teased/pushed you, or comitted some other playground crime, adults would say, "Boys will be boys." They'd say, "Oh, that means he likes you!"

Bullshit.

Boys will be held accountable for their own actions just as much as girls, ok?!!???!!

Since when are we telling little girls that physical/verbal abuse is a sign of affection? Why are we teaching them that being belittled, abused, and disrespected is a sign of endearing treatment, and if not, should be accepted anyway? Why?

Society is conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, and perhaps go as far as to view it as a romantic gesture. Romantic, my foot.

You want case studies? I'll give you fuc*ing case studies.

#1 RIHANNA/CHRIS BROWN

Three sentences, I promise you. This entire case in three sentences.

He hit her. He got some community service done. He's still selling albums.

THE FLYING FU*K?

#2 KRISTEN STEWART

"omg did u hear about kristen stewart she is such a slut and a whorebag for sleeping around and cheating on her boyfriend! doesn't she know she's famous and can impact young people??? wow what a slut she shouldn't be able to act anymore!!!"

Funny, because if I recall correctly, so did Mel Gibson, and again with the Chris Brown.

Really, Hollywood. Try not to be such a trainwreck. Mel Gibson cheats on wife, his career continues. Chris Brown hits his girlfriend black-and-blue, his career continues. Kristen Stewart cheats on boyfriend, GUYS OH NOES WHAT DO WE DO NOW OH MY GOD LET'S NOT HIRE HER ANYMOERRRR

I'm not saying that she's completely absolved from blame; she cheated on her partner, and that is wrong. I'm just saying that how she's been treated after her scandal is highly unfair, and guess what? The only difference between her and Chris and Mel is that she has a Vagina.

#welcometothevaginalife

4. GIRLS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD

(This is from Tumblr, I'm gonna c/p and show you the thread of comments, ok?)

• do you guys remember that one post about how men feel entitled to take up so much space and women have to deal with a lot less?

• This is actually a documented thing. You always see men on the subway or tube or whatever using both armrests while women sit with their arms hunched together into their laps. That’s why I always make a point to take up at least one if not both armrests of the tube so men can be uncomfortable for once.

• ^ again, for all the people telling me posting this picture is complaining too much.

• In my college classes (and high school too) guys were always stretching, sticking fists and elbows in my face, leaning their heads back over my desk, over my work, spreading their legs out, kicking my bag with their dirty shoes.

• And let’s not pretend they were in other guys’ space as much as they were in women’s.

• It’s so true, this happens to me every day on the train. Same with the walking thing, women will weave out of the way whereas men just walk straight and plow down anything in their path. I always end up playing chicken with men on the sidewalk now, because I refuse to move out of their way.

• I love playing chicken with dudes who hog the sidewalk. BODY CHECK! Fucking assholes.

• “NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!” FUCK OFF.“AS A MAN, I THINK THAT…” FUCK OFF.

• Men always have the same defensive bullshit to spout every time they get called out on their shit. AND IT IS BORING. They remind me of those toys where you pull a string an they have like 5 phrases they can say. Over and over and over.

• same here with playing chicken, its hilarious sometimes because they get this flash of realization in their eyes that says ‘holy shit, she’s NOT going to move/??? what to do????’ because THEY ARE SO USED TO EVERYONE MOVING FOR THEM

when i was younger my grandpa drew this on a piece of paper,

and he asked me how i, as the red circle, would get around the two people (black 

circles) if i was walking down the street.

so of course i came back with

moving out of the way for them as i walked.

he asked me if i thought men would do the same and, at the time, i did because i thought it was just common courtesy. but he told me that men would barrel straight through without giving a shit and that i should do the exact same. because i was the one walking and they were the ones in the way. so that’s exactly what i do.

• i find this really fascinating because this actually what defines so-called masculine and feminine traits and gestures. the whole limp-wrist thing? that’s someone decreasing the amount of space they take up by not extending their arm fully. same with crossing one’s legs, how it’s considered more masculine to swing your shoulders when you walk creating a wider gait instead of your hips, how someone who holds their elbows tightly into their torso instead of letting them fall more loosely at their sides is considered feminine.taking up space is not just a frequent habit of males in our culture, its actually how society thinks masculinity is supposed to be expressed. 

• This is my answer when people say eating disorders are personal problems and have nothing to do with sexism. Women literally socialized to take up as little space as possible all day every day.

I could give you case studies, all day, every day, but I'd be really, really exhausted,

like I am now. (Seriously, like 4 examples, it took me roughly two hours and I'm not

even done????)

Right, so I think that's enough for today! I'm really glad if any of you even reach the bottom

of this post, because you are amazing and no but really i am so exhausted from researching 

and typing and copy/pasting and editing html and being angry at the world like whoa

Did you even know that women don't get paid the same as men, even though it is THE 

EXACT SAME JOB??

(*On that note, one of my lovely readers Chris pointed out to me that misogyny is actually

 really prevalent in Asia too, just not as /out/ there, which is true, especially because of the

 Asian mindsets that boys are prosperous and sh*t. Um, hello, I can use my own bone

marrow to reproduce asexually? I AM PROSPEROUS SUCKERS)