Thursday, 29 August 2013

Rape culture ain't no food culture

For those of you who know me, I'm always harping on about something or the other- and this phrase, "rape culture" is something that enters my vocabulary occasionally. What is this "rape culture" you speak of, then?

Well, for starters, it's something that's preeeeeeeeeeetty prevalent in society. It's kind of inescapable, in fact- there's so many things that I can point out that will make you go all Macklemore (wut wut wut wut wut), because really, it's so integrated into our selves that we simply do not realise it anymore. But for a fair definition of what rape culture is, basically:

"[Rape culture] is a culture in which people who have survived a violent crime are asked to laugh about it because other people think it's funny." 

However, this definition doesn't even begin to cover all aspects of rape culture, or help define it that much more, really. Because the startling revelation of the day is this: rape isn't about uncontrollable sexual desire. (honestly I don't even know how to highlight that more than what I've already done) 

You only have to listen into a Call of Duty game to see that. When the kid crows, "I raped you!", he's not calling the other guy sexy; he's saying he defeated him, dominated him, humiliated him. That's what rape is about, and that should scare you.

Here's a jab at how easy it is for rape not to exist:

Then there are the scum of the earth who think that rape can be blamed on the victim (notice here, how I said victim: it does not necessarily need to be a woman, although in most cases it is). "She was drunk!" they'll say. "We've had sex before!" they'll cry. "She was wearing almost nothing," they'll protest.


If a woman's house house was forcibly entered, let's say, without her consent, no one would go up to her and say "maybe if you house didn't look so expensive this wouldn't have happened, you should have made it looked less wealthy". So why is it when someone forcibly enters a woman without her consent they say “if you didn’t dress like a slut this wouldn’t have happened, you should dress more modestly”?

Let's reinforce this, one last time:

Really, when men are trying to blame the victim here, you should be ashamed. I am shaking my head at you in disgust. All you are saying is that you cannot be controlled, that you are such a pathetic being with no control or willpower whatsoever over your desires that your natural form is a rapist.

If that's the case, then why not blindfold the men? There is actually a study (I can't find the link now, don't look at me like that, the Internet is distracting and research is elusive also I have 23K posts on my blog so, no, I can't f*cking find it ok you little shits) (the stress is getting to me forgive me) of how professors and leaders from various religions (priests, rabbis, etc) are suggesting that men be given curfews during times when females are usually in public, or being made to be accompanied by two female friends or family members at all times, or going to the extent of being blindfolded. Yes, it's extreme, but the important thing is that no one gets raped here. Why pressure females to dress "more conservatively", when it's the men who are at fault here?

This should be really obvious for some of you, but for the rest, it might come as a shock- or some are still questioning the "why"s of not blaming the victim. Alright then, it's time to introduce a thing called:


Consent is really f*cking important for everything. Consent is an explicit "yes". Consent means that both parties have agreed to sex (although consent can apply to other things as well) (side note:

it’s really irritating when people try to use consent as this blanket excuse for everything they do. You’re unnecessarily confusing people because you want to validate your argument about something sexual but unrelated to consent.

Consent MEANS it’s not coerced sex. It’s not rape. It’s not sexual assault. That’s all consent gets you. Consent is not some miracle concept that makes racist situations not racist, ableist jokes not ableist. Two white people can’t “consent” away a racist kink being racist. Stop using it that way… it’s not your card to get out of I’m-an-asshole-jail free. And  half the time all anyone is saying is “use critical thought in this situation like any situation.” And it’s DEFINITELY not your immune-from-critique card.)

It's frightening to hear that some people are of the opinion that you don't need this for sex. Look, folks- there's nothing wrong with sex. You can:

- have sex every day.
- save sex for your wedding night.
- never have sex.
- have sex with different people.
- have sex with one person.
- have sex with a person of your same gender.
- love sex.
- hate sex.
- be loud.
- be quiet.

The only thing wrong with sex?

When it’s not consensual.

Because that’s not sex. that’s rape.

(this should probably be saved for a sex positivity post but ehhhhh)

This should be really f*cking scary to hear then, that there are some people who think rape is okay. RAPE IS NEVER OKAY. (Unless you're into kinky role-playing, or summat.) It's about time that we learn that it's not, because it's easy to forget that most people have opinions on things that stem from perpetuated notions society gives us. For example, a girl who has sex is a slut. Or, if she's your girlfriend/wife, it's not rape. Well, we need to start having proper sexual education systems, because really, teaching this kind of shizz is important, yo. Look, just look:


I don't even know what to say, man.

So, men out there, (and women), please please PLEASE take a few things from this tl;dr post (idk are my posts tl;dr? I try not to make it so):

  5. equally; STOP RAPING PEOPLE.

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