no actually no you know what wait no let's redo that that there's terrible wordplay and it makes me /cringe/ so
And let's talk about it!
But not now, actually, that's a terrible idea to delve into this headfirst. Fatphobia is more generalised and actually a sub-topic under the main topic, which is
Right guys, so let's talk about this. Let's talk about how girls and women are expected, daily, to dress up accordingly (and I'm not talking just about "office attire" or the like), but we have to keep a certain skirt length too, or it'd be too 'slutty' (again, another topic not for today); we have to be demure but sexy and be opinionated but not too assertive in our opinions; this and that and this and that.
Today though, we're gonna focus on the more physical aspect of appearances.
A good way to show this example is this picture I found on Tumblr, which is kind of makes you have that dawning realization that the world at large (even me: I am a very guilty of such) is judgmental, and superficially so.
Here's an idea:
clothes do not make the person.
Your clothes are not who you are. Your clothes do not define you.
Your clothes do not represent your sexuality, or the "activeness" of your sexual activities.
(This is off-tangent already. Lord.)
Here’s the thing. Men in our culture have been socialized to believe that their opinions on women’s appearance matter a lot. Not all men buy into this, of course, but many do. Some seem incapable of entertaining the notion that not everything women do with their appearance is for men to look at. This is why men’s response to women discussing stifling beauty norms is so often something like “But I actually like small boobs!” and “But I actually like my women on the heavier side, if you know what I mean!” They don’t realize that their individual opinion on women’s appearance doesn’t matter in this context, and that while it might be reassuring for some women to know that there are indeed men who find them fuckable, that’s not the point of the discussion.
Women, too, have been socialized to believe that the ultimate arbiters of their appearance are men, that anything they do with their appearance is or should be “for men.” That’s why women’s magazines trip over themselves to offer up advice on “what he wants to see you wearing” and “what men think of these current fashion trends” and “wow him with these new hairstyles.” While women can and do judge each other’s appearance harshly, many of us grew up being told by mothers, sisters, and female strangers that we’ll never “get a man” or “keep a man” unless we do X or lose some fat from Y, unless we moisturize/trim/shave/push up/hide/show/”flatter”/paint/dye/exfoliate/pierce/surgically alter this or that.
That’s also why when a woman wears revealing clothes, it’s okay, in our society, to assume that she’s “looking for attention” or that she’s a slut and wants to sleep with a bunch of guys. Because why else would a woman wear revealing clothes if not for the benefit of men and to communicate her sexual availability to them, right? It can’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that it’s hot out or it’s more comfortable or she likes how she looks in it or everything else is in the laundry or she wants to get a tan or maybe she likes women and wants attention from them, not from men?
The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure."
I'd like to take a moment to remind everyone that feminism is about gender equality, so, yes men, being body positive goes out to you too.
Then there's all this bullshit about "real" women have curves, which was the argument against "nothing is as good as skinny feels", or some crap like that. Um. What even?
"Curvy women are real women. Skinny women are real women. Women who have had boob jobs or lip enhancements or liposuction are still real women. Size 0 may make no sense mathematically, but a woman who wears that size is as real as the one who wears a size 16. What makes us “real” people is not the shape of our flesh but our basic humanity. And we lose our humanity when we judge – not when we lose weight, gain weight, or make the intensely personal decision to undergo cosmetic surgery."- Hugo Schwyzer
I can't even remember what this topic was supposed to be about anymore, there are so many sub-topics and overlapping topics and I have a headache I am writing this before noon because that's how much I need to [EDUCATE] all of you
Was I supposed to talk about oversexualization of female bodies? I.e the objectification of our bodies by men? That it's okay for us to be whatever it is, and actually, stoP LISTENING TO ADS? How our bodies are OUR BODIES? I am very confused there are so many topics?? Why am I supposed to talk about this anyway, it's not supposed to be even an issue?????
On that note, check out this Breast Cancer ad where men, for once, are overtly sexualized and used to sell stuff, instead of women. Now, men, how do you feel?